There are probably more people than I realize who have struggled with singleness, but only a few who I know that will really be able to identify with what I’m saying.
I know that God’s timing is the best timing. I know that He calls the shots, but it is a really hard mindset to keep when almost every friend you have is getting married, already married, and has began working on babies, and here you are just single.
To make matters worse, one year at a winter conference, I listened to a speaker talk about a calling to be single. She went into detail about how some people are called to lead married lives and some people are called to lead single lives. Well, this did not inspire me. It freaked me out. I prayed and begged God, “PLEASE DO NOT CALL ME TO BE SINGLE! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE! I want to get married, I want to have children, puhhhhhleeeeeeease don’t leave me single.” I didn’t know this at the time, but that was already a very clear indicator that I wasn’t called to be single.
God and I talked a lot about being single. I didn’t want to date frivolously, my end goal was marriage. I knew exactly what kind of man I wanted, and I made a very detailed list of musts in my journal. When I finished my list, I felt accomplished, but I also felt like finding this man was a long shot (little did I know, I already knew him).
In December of 2010 (age 25- dating a wolf in sheep’s clothing), I visited the Mazda dealership in Mesquite. The sales person (Korey Traylor) was very helpful and nice and treated my mom and I very kind as we shopped around for a possible new car for me. There was a specific car that I liked and I wanted in a specific color but it wasn’t available at the time, so I decided to wait.
Toward the end of 2011 (age 26 – single), I went back and purchased the car that I wanted, in the color that I wanted it in. That same very nice sales person (Korey) sold it to me. After purchasing the car, I would take it up to the dealership for oil changes and stop by and briefly visit with Korey.
Summer of 2012 (still 26 – still single), I visited Mazda for some car maintenance, and Korey and I made plans to see a movie. We began hanging out and seeing lots of movies. We’d meet at the theatre, he’d walk me to my car, and we’d make plans to do it again. Eventually, we progressed from meeting at the theatre to him picking me up (and maybe even going to dinner before).
August of 2012 (still 26 – hanging out with Korey), Korey came up to the school and helped me hang stuff on my walls and get my classroom ready for school to start. I knew that I really liked him. We’d had several conversations about what we were looking for in a significant other, and we knew that neither one of us was dating for fun, we were serious. Knowing this, Korey “courted” me for a while before he decided to make this official – he wanted to be sure (and I can definitely appreciate that – especially in a society where people live in fast-forward).
October of 2012 (age 26, 2 days before my 27th birthday) Korey became my boyfriend! Three years until I knock on thirty’s door and we just started dating. Shortly after we’d made the boyfriend/girlfriend commitment, everyone under the sun started questioning us about when we were going to get married. Poor Korey, it wore us both out.
October 27, 2013 (age 27, two days before my 28th birthday) we celebrated our one-year anniversary. Some time during this year, I took the time to look at the list of “must haves” in my journal and was able to put a check mark next to every single thing I requested in a man when it came to Korey. Not only that, there are so many behaviors/qualities that Korey has that go above anything I could have asked for. When God showed up, He showed out.
October 29, 2014 (my 29th birthday) – With blessings from both of my parents, Korey asked me to be his wife. Best. Birthday. Ever (you can click the “About The Author” tab above to read our engagement story).
This year, October 24, 2015 (five days before my 30th birthday) we will be married. Most of our friends are: already married, already have kids, working on kids, etc., and I’m okay with that. We don’t live by any biological clocks, or what everyone else is doing clocks… We live by God’s clock – and his timing is perfect. Korey and I often talk about God orchestrating our meet. It was the perfect time in both of our lives. Both of us dated people who clearly were not for us, but those experiences put us both in a position to appreciate each other all the more.
So, here I am almost 30 and just starting this marriage journey. There is hope for the hopelessly single. There are great men out there. There are men who love the Lord, who will tell you you’re beautiful every day, who open your doors, pull out your chairs, who won’t sit until you’re seated, who consider you when making life decisions, who will put you first, who will pray for you, who surprise you with flowers, who’ll run to the car in the rain to get the car and pick you up at the door so you don’t have to get your hair wet and have an afro, who’ll shower you with gifts, who will stand up for you, and who will put you before himself. I know they’re out there, because I’m marrying one, not late, but right on time.